No One Is an NPC Non-player Character
Stop treating others as NPCs, and you will stop being an NPC.
Recently, certain unelected leaders have described the vast majority of us as NPC- Non-Player Characters. An NPC is a character in a video, role-playing, card, or live-action game that does not represent an actual person and cannot be manipulated by an actual player. An NPC is an algorithm controlled or performed by an organizer, facilitator, supporting participant, or computer. It’s someone who exists but is not really alive.
Do we exist only to fill a role so the “real players” can do what they do? Are we not important in the grand scheme of things? Do you believe you are replaceable, expendable, not to be listened to, or have any need to have things explained?
Is that who you are? Do you feel like you are just along for the ride or helping someone else get from position A to position B? Have we been made to understand that what we do doesn’t matter as long as the big dogs get to eat? If we can’t make a difference, some want us to believe we are only NPCs.
I have played or watched others play enough games to know that NPCs get squashed, swatted, laughed at, abused, killed, and manipulated just for the fun of it. NPCs may make funny noises or give funny responses to our abusive actions, which makes us laugh. They may give a “real player” an outlet for pent-up frustration at the game, life, or whatever happens. And that is what “real players” do because we know it doesn’t matter. The NPCs always come back, always return, always come back to life.
It is not that they are not important because the game or life would not function or progress without such characters. They are essential and expendable. They exist without feelings, care, or love. They perform their function and are no longer needed. They don’t really exist.
It is the notion that we are NPCs and that we are expendable or don’t really exist that is troubling. What scares me is that some folks are starting to believe that they are NPCs.
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” — Oscar Wilde
I get it. Thinking back on my life, I can wonder if, at times, I simply was a bit character, an NPC driven by the code of the so-called simulation. I would wake up, eat, go to school, play, and interact with others, family, teachers, and friends in much the same way I did every day. I lived a very sheltered life. Some might call it a soul-sucking existence set on autopilot. Life had color. It just remained as primary colors with little room for variation. This was how I lived through most of my days.
In that way, I was an NPC. Every single day seemed the same.
In another place, someone else, less fortunate than I, might have woken up to nothing to eat, no school, and limited play because of armed conflicts or forced labor. Interaction with others was sparse and often harsh. Some might call it a soul-less existence because hope, emotion, and love had been removed or dampened to such a degree that life remained gray. This, too, is an NPC existence, or maybe I should say a troubling non-existence.
Both such people, or variations of those people, might be considered NPCs. They exist and have little or no conscious control over their lives. No one listens to them or cares about them. They only exist to keep the “real players” happy and on track.
Many times, I have wondered if I might be a “real player” in life. That is what most of us want to be. All our struggles in life come from a desire to be a “real player.”
“He who has enough for his wants should desire nothing more.” — Horace
Our problem is not that we can’t define NPC, it is that we haven’t successfully defined what a real player is.
The “real players” of the world have always been held up to us and displayed as iconic visions of possibilities. In my experience, most people the world describes as “real players” are broken people seeking peace, fulfillment, satisfaction, love, and acceptance in all the wrong places. Their Ego is out of control. Their understanding and conscious control is underdeveloped or has not been lifted to a height worth exploring. They want to matter more than they do or can. To do so, everyone else must become NPCs in their universe.
That vision of reality simply is not true.
You do matter. Your existence is not a simple placeholder. There is no such thing as an NPC in real life. You can wake up, let go of the life-controlling joystick, and begin to develop in ways that make a difference.
A “real player” doesn’t necessarily move mountains, although they can, ultimately and unbeknownst to them. The people who make connections, build community, develop consensus, soothe anger, find healthy release for frustration, help heal, transform pain, give meaning to suffering and sacrifice, and share love are giant “real players.”
Everyone begins as a “real player” worthy of our attention. No one is an NPC. You can have the most significant effect in life with those closest to you. “Real players” solve problems at every level, which always begins with the most minor things and the most unexpected people.
How do we move from being considered NPCs to making meaningful, long-lasting differences?
We begin by having more meaningful conversations.
Most of our conversations are about the weather, sports, gossip, or complaining about current circumstances. A “real player” begins by having something real to talk about. You don’t need to have an opinion on everything. In fact, “real players” who make a difference often say, I don’t know. They are comfortable beginning with not knowing and suggesting we all find out together.
NPCs spout off about everything, sharing only what they have heard. “Real Players share from a deeper personal understanding. It comes from their own experience. It comes from being widely and well-read. It comes from listening more than talking — listening to people on the ground, not talking heads from on high.
When I think of “real players” in my own life, I remember my grandparents, the wisdom of my mentors, and the love and nurture of my parents. I remember the teachers who had lived it, not just read about it. I remember moments when I was not just told about things but given room to experience life for myself, to learn the lesson deep within me.
Don’t allow others to fill your head with nonsense. Refuse to gossip. Instead, go deeper with empathy. Ask what caused what happened. Why did this or that person react that way? Why did I react in a certain way? You are not an NPC if you can repeatedly steer yourself to go deeper.
Real people have so much depth. Understand your own depth and, more importantly, understand how deep the lives of the people around you are. If you can honestly claim that no one in your life is an NPC and that you attempt never to treat anyone you encounter as an NPC, you will become a “real player.”
NPCs are asleep in their own minds. They don’t believe what they do matters, which makes them dangerous. They also don’t see or hear others, which makes them unresponsive or worse. They only listen to manipulations, which makes them easy targets.
Instead, start believing that everything you do matters. What you believe, think, and process matters, as does how you proceed and what you eat, read, and listen to. What you are doing right now matters more than you think.
And all people matter! Stop treating others as NPCs, and you will stop being an NPC. Life matters! How you live affects everything around you. Stop living like all life is there just for you. Instead, connect to all life and discover how much all life is supporting you.
Stop being an NPC and start developing yourself as an active participant in your own life and all life that surrounds you.
I used to joke that I was just going through the motions,wake up, emails, errands, more emails, sleep. And sometimes I still fall back into that loop. But this piece reminded me it’s not about breaking out dramatically. It’s about noticing. Listening when someone’s really trying to say something. Choosing to engage instead of scrolling past. I don’t think we’re NPCs because we’re busy. We become NPCs when we stop being curious. And I needed that reminder today.